50 Shades of fun for Valentine’s Day!

With Debbie Simon

 

50 Shades Darker is finally here — and so is Valentine’s Day — so we’re celebrating with a fun new contest!

The first 50 customers to walk in our doors on Valentine’s Day will receive a free gift, and will also be registered to win the GRAND PRIZE of a $100 gift card to LongHorn Steakhouse and two tickets to see 50 Shades Darker. You’ll have a 1-in-50 chance to win! The drawing will be at 5 p.m., but the winner need not be present to win. We’ll also have 96.7 KCMQ doing a remote broadcast from 4-6 p.m.

Speaking of Valentine’s Day, have you purchased a gift for your special someone yet? Come to Olde Un and find something you’ll both appreciate – and perhaps can use to recreate your favorite scene from the movie at home. We’re currently offering 25% off all lingerie – including boots and shoes! If you’re looking for something we don’t have in-store we can always order it for you, or you can visit our online shop at https://www.oldeunfun.com/online-shop and have some Olde Un Fun delivered right to your door!

Resolve to take care of your lady bits this New Year

With Debbie Simon

A New Year means new resolutions – for a lot of people that means focusing on their health and working to work out more, eat better and lose weight. We’re here to remind you that your vaginal health should be just as important as keeping track of your cholesterol. Neglecting your hoo-hah can lead to more than just embarrassing odors, it could result in infections and could also mask more serious problems. You want everything in working order not only for your overall well-being, but also because it can lead to a more satisfying sex life. So here are a few tips to help you with your resolution to take good care of your lady bits in 2017:

See your doctor – Putting your heels in those stirrups is never fun, but regular cervical exams (every three years for women ages 25-49) greatly increases your chances of catching any problems early, and that can sometimes literally be the difference between life and death.

 

Wear cotton undies – Cotton breathes and absorbs moisture, making it the ideal cover up for your lady bits.

Don’t spend all day in your sweaty workout clothes – Getting a shower immediately after a workout isn’t always doable, but putting it off too long can leave you worse than just stinky. Sitting in sweat could cause a bacterial infection, so if a shower isn’t in your immediate future, at least bring a change of clothes.

Speaking of exercise, do your Kegels – We’ve talked before about the importance of working out your pelvic floor muscles. Kegels can help with bladder control and prevent serious conditions like uterine prolapse. And as an added bonus, strong pelvic muscles mean stronger orgasms!

Eat more yogurt – especially Greek yogurt, which has live cultures that boost good bacteria below the belt

Go commando – giving your lady bits a chance to breathe on occasion can be good for you. Plus, whispering those magic words in your partner’s ear: “I’m not wearing any underwear” is pretty much guaranteed to lead to fun sooner rather than later.

Use condoms – you should be doing this anyway, for all the obvious reasons, but a study by researchers at the Beijing Friendship Hospital found that condoms provide a barrier that keeps semen from affecting your natural pH level.

 

DON’T use douche – Your vagina actually does a fine job of cleaning itself, no assistance necessary. Using a douche can alter your healthy pH levels, not to mention studies have shown using such products can lead to increased risk of infections, pelvic inflammatory disease and STDs. 

Party in your PJs

Look for us at the 2017 Pajama Jam!

With Debbie Simon

 

When it comes to weekend plans, our favorite options are Girls’ Night and staying at home snuggled up in your PJ’s with your favorite snacks and drinks and a good movie. Our plans for Jan. 28 combine the best of both worlds: We had so much fun at Pajama Jam last year we’ll be back at Stoney Creek Inn for Pajama Jam 2!

We’ll be bringing plenty of Olde Un Fun to the party — we’ll have lingerie, vibrators, cock rings, a little bit of everything! Everything at our booth will be 20 percent off and you’ll have the chance to sign up to win one of several giveaways — all of which will have some kind of vibrator. Valentine’s Day will be here before you know it, and we’ll have a section set up with fun, sexy gift ideas for you and your partner!

Tickets are sold out for this slumber party on steroids (you can still contact any of the Cumulus stations and get put on a wait list in case there are cancelations!) but if you’re joining in this night of pampering, entertainment, dancing, shopping, and games, keep an eye out for us!

We hope to see you in your favorite pajamas on Jan. 28, but if you can’t make it you can still come in to see us at the store and get some good deals. We’re currently offering 25 percent off lingerie, including shoes and boots. So come on in and let us help you get ready for your next night of Olde Un Fun!

And don’t forget if you can’t make it to the store, you can always visit our website at http://www.oldeunfun.com/oldeunfun.

Celebrate a sexy New Year

With Debbie Simon

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all our friends and patrons! We hope your holiday season has been merry, bright, and at least a little bit dirty. In case all that holiday family time has left you short on opportunities for Olde Un Fun, here are a few ideas to help make sure you get the New Year off to a sexy start:

Shake things up: The unexpected is always sexy. Do you usually go low key with your celebrations? Then use New Year’s Eve as an excuse to get all dolled up and spend a night on the town. Do you spend the rest of the year partying it up? Grab your favorite partner and snuggle up at home with a special dinner for just the two of you. 

Book a room: Whether you plan to dance the night away at the club or spend the evening lounging in bed, make it special by changing your location. Book yourself a room in a swanky hotel. Order room service and then put that jetted tub to good use!

Play games: We know, we know, we suggested this one last year, but there’s a reason Game Night is a perpetual favorite. Stock your bar, invite some friends over and prepare for a night of fun and laughs. Truth or Dare; Strip Poker, Bingo, you-name it; Suck and Blow; Flip, Sip or Strip – the options are endless!

 

Slip into something “more comfortable”: No matter what your plans are for the night, knowing you look good always makes you feel sexier. So go buy that flirty new dress you’ve been eying and dust off those killer heels you’ve been saving for a special occasion – this is it! And don’t forget, what you’ve got on underneath is just as important, and we have plenty of sexy lingerie to help heat up your New Year here at the Olde Un.

Whatever you do, make sure you have fun. And don’t forget, we’ll be open on the holidays this year: 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. Christmas Eve, noon to midnight Christmas Day, 7 a.m. to 2 a.m. New Year’s Eve and noon to midnight New Year’s Day. Come in and see us!

Fun ways to land on Santa’s Naughty List

With Debbie Simon

Every year we’re reminded that Santa is keeping tabs on who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. While the perks of making the nice list are made pretty clear, we’re here to tell you that sometimes being naughty can be a reward in and of itself. Here are a few fun ways to land yourself on Santa’s Naughty List for all the right reasons.

 

Take in a peep show. Santa’s not the only one who likes to watch. There’s a reason porn is such a thriving industry – because sometimes watching someone else get theirs is the best way to get off yourself.

Make your own movie. Watching an adult film can be a good way to get in the mood, but filming one of your own randy adventures can be even more fun – just make sure you don’t leave it where someone else can get their naughty little hands on it.

Pick up a stranger. For those who don’t have a significant other, taking home/going home with that hot guy/girl across the club/bar/hotel lobby can be a very good way to be bad. Just be careful, use protection, and make sure everyone has all their faculties in working order. Nobody wants to be on either end of an “Oh, God, what did I just do?!” scenario the next morning.

Risk getting caught. Have you ever longed to get it on in a public place – bring back your teenage years in the back seat of the car, sneak in a little “Afternoon Delight” at the office, give your partner a little hand action while out to dinner, re-enact that subway scene from “Risky Business”? The threat that someone might catch you at any moment can add an extra level of thrill to an already fun time.

 

Document yourself in your birthday suit. Boudoir photo shoots have become a bit of a cheesy trend in recent years, but if you find the right photographer they can be a fun way to boost your confidence and capture some flattering photos you can look back at later with the proverbial “Why didn’t I realize how good I looked?”

These are all fun activities, of course, just be prepared that this could be you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUA7BPnog_0

And if you need any help being naughty, you can always come see as at the Olde Un!

Oh! And if you’re still hoping to stay on the Good List, we hope Santa brings you everything you asked for.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYNermvyWO4

Or you could just hedge your bets and do a little sucking up:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGQUuyrVBoA

Olde Un’s Favorite Things

With Debbie Simon

The holiday shopping season is upon us and Black Friday seems like a good time to share a few of our favorite things here at the Olde Un. These are our top picks for gifts that will make your partner’s Christmas (and yours too!) a little more fun in the best way.

Magic Wand-Amazing Power….for if you want to soothe an aching shoulder or want a more personal massage experience. Since the late 70s, many therapists and advisers have specifically recommended the Magic Wand to their clients as the superior choice, thanks to its deep, powerful and pleasure-filled vibrations. We have the original, deluxe and unplugged versions!

Sensuelle Femme Luxe 10 Function Rabbit Massager….within the tip is a ball shaped stimulator that has a unique 3 speed up and down motion. It has two motors and 10 functions.

Kama Sutra Honey Dust….dust this incredibly fine powder on your lover, leaving a silky soft glow, a delicate fragrance and an irresistible lure. Honeysuckle is our favorite flavor, but it comes in strawberry, chocolate and raspberry as well.

Don’t forget about the Olde Un when you’re doing your holiday shopping this year — your partner has been good all year, don’t they deserve something naughty as a reward?

And if you need a break from too much family time as the holiday season moves on, you can always escape to the Olde Un! We’ll be open Christmas Eve from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m.; Christmas Day from noon to midnight; New Year’s Eve 7 a.m. to 2 a.m.; and New Year’s Day noon to midnight.

Thankful for good puns (and porn)

With Debbie Simon

November is a month for giving thanks, and one of the things we at the Olde Un are most thankful for is our loyal customer base. One way we plan to say “Thank you” is by holding a Customer Appreciation Week, with half-price entry to the Olde Un Theatre Nov. 13-19. Never experienced the fun to be had in our theatre? Now’s the perfect time to try it out, with tickets only $5 for a full week.

To help celebrate Customer Appreciation Week, we present you with a roundup of our favorite “punny” adult movie titles:

“Star Whores”

“Romancing the Bone”

“Shaving Ryan’s Privates”

“Remember the Tight Ones”

“Diddle Her on the Roof”

“Edward Penishands”

“Sleazy Riders”

“Whorey Potter”

“Throbbin Hood”

“Forrest Hump”

“For Your Thighs Only”

“Inspect Her Gadget”

“Good Will Humping”

 

“The Sperminator”

“The Joy Suck Club”

Whether you enjoy a good pun, good porn, or both, come join us for some Olde Un Fun during Customer Appreciation Week! And if you need a break from too much family time as the holiday season moves on, don’t forget you can escape to the Olde Un! We’ll be open Thanksgiving Day from noon to midnight; Christmas Eve from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m.; Christmas Day from noon to midnight; New Year’s Eve 7 a.m. to 2 a.m.; and New Year’s Day noon to midnight.