Curious about BDSM?

With Debbie Simon

BDSM (Bondage & Discipline/Dominance & Submission/Sado-Masochism) is a term used to describe the most erotic and powerful sexual acts humans can perform. The art of dominating and/or relinquishing all control with your partner can be one of the most powerful and intimate acts you can perform as a couple.

In its most basic form BDSM is all about the erotic and sexual acts and mind-sets of dominating and relinquishing control. BDSM has gotten a bad rap, mostly in major media’s representation of it. It does not have to be dangerous or seedy or ridiculous in any way. Having a woman take charge can increase their sexual confidence and also give her partner a break from being ‘in charge’. 

We all know that doing anything too hard your partner is not only illegal, but devastating to a relationship. With BDSM, the best mind is an open one. This can give couples the opportunity to explore fantasies in ways that will bring them even closer. 

Thinking about getting into BDSM? Here are some tips.

1) Starting out…Revealing your desire to explore this new realm may have you shaking in your boots, but no worries! Approaching your partner in an open and casual way can really take fear away. 50 Shades of Grey brought BDSM to the forefront so now is the time! What have you got to lose? The worst word you may hear is ‘no’. Go for it!

2) Develop a plan…It may not be the best idea to go buy a whip, some cuffs and see what happens. Talk about your wildest fantasies openly. You may be surprised how easy it is to grow into a fantasy you both can agree on. Develop a word that means stop. And that word means stop immediately. Step into it lightly and don’t go too far that first time. BDSM is a journey. Treat it as such.

3) Who’s first…Talk about who wants what role in this play. Are you the Dominatrix, demanding he pleasure you with his tongue before you will even touch him? Have you always wanted to be tied up? Spanked? Figure out who leads, who follows, then switch it up next time. Variety is the spice of life.

4) Use the tools…Blindfolds, handcuffs, crops and collars. The tools of BDSM can be as exciting as any orgasm. Start small and grow your collection of toys, they can build off one another to create new and more amazing games and experiences every time you decide to break them out.

5) Dress up…Ladies, please don’t wear your old tattered fleece robe. Get the sexiest lingerie you can find and wear it! Men are visual creatures and they love to see what they are getting. And if you are taking the lead, watching you walk around in that black g-string will really get them wound up.

6) Prepare. Prepare. Prepare…The location. The time. Make sure you are going to be uninterrupted and in a comfortable, safe place. You don’t want anything or anyone breaking in on this moment of connection and exploration. That’s a real mood killer.

"Whether you are dominating, submitting, both or merely exploring - be confident about your body and desires; it’s the ultimate aphrodisiac." - Nichi

There are two last points I want to make about engaging in BDSM or any physical relationship with another person.

1. Have a safe word! It can be anything from apple to zebra. Make sure you both have a clear understanding of that word and that it means STOP IMMEDIATELY.

2. Be 100% sure you can trust and count on your partner. Make sure you can…

     a. Count on them to know when to stop. 

     b. Count on them to be open and not to go too far. 

     c. Count on them not to take anything too seriously, as unplanned moments will definitely happen.

As with any relationship with another person, there are risks of getting hurt. Make sure you go into BDSM with all the details and rules worked out beforehand. 

Whether it is your first experience or you are a seasoned professional, Olde Un has all the latest and greatest BDSM equipment and devices and our trained experts can help make your experience great! So, get out there and HAVE FUN!

Vibrators from 1 to Fabulous with Debbie Simon

Buying your first vibrator should be a fun experience, not a terrifying one. Vibrators are a great tool for getting to know your body. The muscle work-out and adrenaline release they provide benefits your health and they’re just a lot of fun!

There are about as many different vibrators as there are vaginas so finding the right one can seem overwhelming. Here are some tips to help you select the best toy for your body.

1.  Clitoral Stimulation – Many women find clitoral stimulation the best and fastest way to reach orgasm. Pocket Rockets are the best-selling vibrators in this category and are usually very economical. I recommend purchasing a multiple speed rocket so that you can find the best speed for your clit. Body Massagers, Bullet and Egg Vibrators, butterfly strap-ons, vibrating panties and so many others...you may want to experiment with several different styles to find the one that’s right for you.
2.  Love Rings or Vibrating Cock Rings – A great option for couples. Not only is the clitoral vibration a great feeling for us girls, most men love the snug sensation around their shaft and the vibrator can be removed and used on its own!
3. Vaginal Vibrators – Finding the hidden treasure that is the g-spot is best done with a curved vaginal vibrator. Jopen has some of the most beautiful and functional vibrators on the market. Knowing your own body is key in helping your partner know what you like. Once you find that spot, you’ll never look back! We also love the new line of Sensuelle Vibrators. With over 20 vibration settings, they are amazing!
4. Dual-Action Vibrators – Some women want it all. At once. These high-action vibrators have both vaginal and clitoral vibration and can really make you hit the ceiling. Again and again.  <3

Sensuelle Touch Rechargeable

Olde Un has vibrators for every appetite.

Please keep in mind these important details. Before you make your purchase, ask about the materials your vibrator is made of. Some rubbers are more pliable than others, which affects both your comfort and pleasure. ALWAYS keep your vibrator clean. A good scrubbing with soap and water will usually suffice. However, if you are more comfortable using a product specifically designed for adult products, we offer a line of toy cleaners that will keep your toy clean, healthy and will never degrade the material your treasure is made from.

We-Vibe 4 Plus

One of our favorite vibrators right now is the We-Vibe 4 Plus. Not only is it a wireless vibrator, it can sync with your partner’s (or your) cell phone. Just be careful going out on the town with your man. He may get so excited that when he stands up, everyone will know what you are up to. Just think of all the fun you can have….