Sex is good for you

With Debbie Simon

“Sex is natural – sex is good. Not everybody does it. But everybody should.”

George Michael was on to something back in 1987. Sex isn’t just fun and games, it’s also good for you, providing benefits ranging from stress release to boosting your immune system. We’ve rounded up some of the top reasons sex is just as effective as the proverbial apple at keeping your doctor away:

Fewer colds: According to researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania, people who are sexually active tend to have higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin, which helps combat diseases and keep the body safe from colds and flu.

 Lower blood pressure: A number of studies have documented a link between sexual intercourse (not masturbation) and lower systolic blood pressure. Of course, sex can’t take the place of blood-pressure lowering drugs to control high blood pressure, but it can be a fun way to help said drugs do their job.

Lower risk for heart attack: Having regular sex isn’t a guarantee against a heart attack, but sexual activity does help keep your hormones in check, which can lower your chances of developing conditions like heart disease and osteoporosis. A study of 1,000 men published in 2010 showed that men who had sex at least twice a week were 45-percent less likely to develop life-threatening heart conditions than men who had sex once a month or less.

Fountain of youth?: Another study, this one by the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland, showed that individuals who have regular sex — four times a week on average — were perceived to be seven to 12 years younger than their actual age. All that nooky promotes the release of hormones like estrogen, we has been shown to promote soft skin and shiny hair. 

Pain relief: Why pop an ibuprofen when you can hit the sheets instead? The endorphins released during sex are similar in structure to opiates and have the same feel-good affect by occupying morphine receptors in the brain.

Improved bladder control: Incontine nce is something that will affect approximately 30 percent of women at some point in their lives. Sex, like the much-vaunted Kegels exercises, is a workout for your pelvic floor muscles. When you orgasm, those muscles contract, strengthening them and leading to better bladder control.

Lower risk of prostate cancer: Research has shown that men who ejaculate frequently (at least 21 times a month) are less likely to get prostate cancer. Most sources caution that other factors may have contributed to those results, but they also agree getting off more often can only help.

Date Night in Columbia with Debbie Simon

Here at the Olde Un we’re all about having sexy, sensual fun with your partner(s) of choice. But when it comes to romance, what happens outside the bedroom (or the living room, on the desk in your office, wherever) is just as important as getting physical.

With that in mind, here are just a few suggestions for having some fun around town before you get down and dirty:

For the foodies among us:

Cooking Date Nights at Back2Basics: Have you always dreamed of being Julia Child but don’t know how to cook anything fancier than macaroni and cheese? You and your date will spend the evening preparing and then enjoying meals ranging from pan seared pork loin with a sweet cherry glaze to vegan Portobello pizza topped off by desserts like salted caramel peanut butter truffles.

Check it out at www.back2basicscooking.net.

Columbia Culinary Tours: This unique tour gives you an insider’s look at some of downtown Columbia’s best restaurants and food specialty shops. Guides will lead you on a stroll of The District with stops at locally-owned eateries to owner and/or chef and get a taste of the best they have to offer.

Check it out at columbiaculinarytours.com.

For the outdoors enthusiast:

If you like nothing better than an outdoor adventure — taking a hike and communing with nature — there are plenty of opportunities in Mid-Missouri for you to scratch that itch, especially in the two Missouri state parks that lie within a few minutes’ drive of Columbia. Pack a picnic and head up to Finger Lakes State Park, take a hike up to Devil’s Icebox at Rock Bridge Memorial State Park or hit the Katy Trail on foot or by bicycle.

Check it out at MoStateParks.com/park/finger-lakes-state-park, MoStateParks.com/park/rock-bridge-memorial-state-park or www.bikekatytrail.com

For Baby who wants to get out of their corner:

Studio B Dance Studio: Whether you’ve always imagined yourself twirling around the stage with Patrick Swayze, dreamed of stalking across the dance floor performing an intense tango, or long to kick up your heels like the Swing Kids, a night of dance lessons is a fun way to cut loose (and maybe get that libido going). With the option of group or drop-in classes or private lessons, you have plenty of opportunities to learn your way through everything from ballroom to the two-step.

Check it out at www.danceatstudiob.com.  

For a break from everyday living:

A swanky night or weekend away from home: This one may be especially appealing to parents who want to get away and have more than a few hours where they aren’t responsible for anyone but themselves, but really who doesn’t like a nice mini-vacation from reality? Get all dolled up and treat yourself to a night on the town and instead of heading home when the clock strikes midnight, spend a night or two at one of Columbia’s more upscale hotels — we suggest Tiger Hotel or The Broadway. If you’re at The Broadway, have a nightcap or two at The Roof for a spectacular view of Columbia. If you’re at the Tiger Hotel head down to The Vault and maybe grab a sweet treat from Velvet Cupcake. Then head to sleep in a ridiculously comfortable bed, order up some room service and pretend the world outside doesn’t exist for a while.

Check it out at thebroadwaycolumbia.com or www.thetigerhotel.com.

For the music lover:

Concert city: There is no shortage of music venues in Columbia; whether you want to catch a show by a local or regional artist at The Bridge or Rose Music Hall or bigger tours at The Blue Note, there’s a place to go. With summer just around the corner, there are also outdoor options like 9^th Street Summerfest, the city’s Stephen’s Lake Park Amphitheater Concert Series, the Shelter Gardens Concert Series and the Missouri Symphony Society’s Hot Summer Nights.

Check it out at thebridgecolumbia.com, rosemusichall.com, thebluenote.com, www.gocolumbiamo.com, www.shelterinsurance.com/aboutshelter/events and www.mosymphonysociety.org.

Let's Make Valentine's Day SEXY! with Debbie Simon

There are a million and one ways to be sexy. And whether you’re sexy is like Kate Moss or Kim Kardashian, Ben Affleck or Hugh Jackman, here are 13 great ways to get your sexy on this Valentine’s Weekend...Enjoy!

1. Always make eye contact and be confident.
Looking people that you are interacting with squarely in the eye won’t only will boost your own confidence, but it’ll get people to see you as confident and in control, which usually translates to sexy. Remember, physical beauty is a key component to sex appeal, but what one person finds sexy the next may not. We all have our preferences, wants and needs.

2. Use your brain
Showing your big brain (without being a Smart A#*) is a definite turn-on. Keep that mind healthy by reading and keeping up with current topics. Most people find intelligence very sexy and being a dummy…not so much.

3. Be funny.
We’re not saying you have to win a Comedian of the year award. But not taking yourself, or the world around you, too seriously is major in terms of sexy. Believe it or not, a good sense of humor ranks in the top five in almost every single potential mate checklist.

4. Love your hair.
Get a new do or at least take good care of your own do. Don’t wait to get a haircut until your hair has grown half way down your back. You don’t have to spend $100 a month on cuts, colors and perms, but it is a good idea to get a trim more than once every five years.

5. Eat black licorice … and donuts.
Did you know? The Smell & Taste Treatment & Research Foundation in Chicago conducted a study looking at people, smells and sexual arousal. What did they find? Black licorice increased blood flow to a man’s penis by 13%! When they combined the smell of donuts with licorice the number jumped to 32!!

6. Get some new lingerie
Please do not use that same teddy for the next ten years! It’s a good idea to get your partner something new and yummy to look at occasionally. We’re not saying you have to buy a new outfit every week, but it is a great idea to update the pieces in your sexy drawer on occasion. We have lingerie that will make everyone look sexy! Give us a try…

7. Unfollow people who make you insecure.
Doesn’t matter if it’s the work-out queen/king from high school you follow on Facebook, the celebrity who’s had 26 plastic surgeries or the 20 year-old Victoria Secret model, if reading about or seeing someone makes you feel less than sexy, STOP WATCHING THEM!

8. Wear his shirt.
Not only will he find you sexy, sexy, sexy with your legs hanging out of the bottom of his shirt, you will feel all kinds of sexy with his manly scent dripping all over your chest.

9. Go slow.
Sometimes it’s hard not to get in a rush. Run down the hall to get to the bedroom. Skip the foreplay and head straight for home plate. Sex Coach Sean Jameson tells us that if you slow your movements and speech by just 10% you can turn your partner on more than ever. Just take your time and watch how sexy you become.

10. Have sex more.
Don’t wait for your partner. Just grab him or her and tell them how much you desire to be with them. Tell them all about how much you love their ass, boobs, hair, arms…whatever turns you on. Make sure your partner knows in no uncertain terms just how much you love having sex with them. One of the biggest turn-ons there is!

11. Don’t wear underwear on your date.
It may sound cliché, but letting your partner know that you are hanging out with a short skirt and now panties will drive him wild. You may not make it through dinner!

12. Put your phone away.
Listen up! The act of obsessively checking your phone every two minutes could be a real deal breaker when it comes to sex appeal. There’s nothing more rude than trying to have a conversation with a person who’s constantly staring at their screens—wouldn’t you be put off if someone were paying more attention to their iPhone than to you? Being present is sexy. Being preoccupied is not.

13. Be comfortable in your own skin.
Nothing says sexy like the swagger that comes with truly being comfortable with yourself. If you’re not, do something about it, whether that means joining a gym, getting a new job, moving to another city, or surrounding yourself with more supportive people. After all, complete confidence is the key component of sex appeal.

Your Naughty Christmas List by Debbie Simon

Looking Gorgeous! with Debbie Simon

One of my favorite gifts during the holiday season is lingerie. Whether giving or getting, lingerie is a great way to say, I love you, You’re beautiful, I want you…and so much more.

At Olde Un, we have lingerie for everyone, whatever your size or sexual preference. And although lingerie can be one of the most beautiful clothing items we can put on our bodies, it sometimes can be intimidating and uncomfortable. So here are our best tips for rocking that lingerie as only you can!

1.    CONFIDENCE
Number One for a very important reason! Being confident in your own skin is the sexiest thing in the world. There very likely may be some fear when it comes to getting naked, but be encouraged. You aren’t the only one. Go ahead,  put yourself out there, and fake it ‘til you make it! Your partner loves you for you. So let that perfection vibe go, put away those Photoshopped magazines (forever, please) and bring out your beautiful self.

You both will enjoy the experience more when you let that confidence shine!

2.    Select lingerie YOU love
Making a lingerie selection should be fun. Don’t feel the need to pick the most racy teddy on the rack, any particular style, or even a particular color. When you browse through our store, you’ll find lingerie in bright colors as well as black, skin-tight revealing items and flowing baby doll styles that work to accentuate the positive (you get the idea). Remember, you’re wearing the lingerie, don’t let the lingerie wear you.

Get something you absolutely LOVE!

3.    Comfort is FUN
I admit, I’ve purchased lingerie because it looked good on the model that was printed on the tag. I get it home and it’s tight enough to cut the circulation off to the entire bottom half of my body! Yes, lingerie is a completely different feeling than wearing your old “comfortable” t-shirt and shorts, but make sure you get home with something that you can actually walk around in.

There isn’t anything sexy about a bound up, strangled partner (unless you’re into that sort of thing).  ;)

4.    Your ASSETS
There is lingerie that makes a booty shine. Lingerie that really shows off the girls. Lingerie that will make your legs look ten feet long. Pick out lingerie that shows off your best assets. And minimizes the parts that you may be less confident about.

Proud of your luscious curves? Baby doll gowns show off your bust and flatter just about any shape. Think you’ve got an amazing booty? Give your lover a peek of what’s to come with a form-fitting chemise. Considering a jaw-dropping striptease? A black garter slip, revealed after peeling away your everyday layers, can do no wrong. Take this as your lingerie rule of thumb: If you feel amazing, you’ll look amazing, and vice versa!

5.    Get out there and just DO IT!
Don’t talk yourself out of it. Lingerie can really add excitement to your sex life. The right lingerie can bring excitement for years to come. Your partner will never get tired of seeing you strut around in all your confident glory.

So put these tips to use and wrap up a special package for your loved one this holiday season. Santa Daddy will be oh so very excited to open your ‘present’.

What Women Want

By Debbie Simons

Women have a lot of power when it comes to getting sex when they want it. And they know what they like. So how does a man communicate his best attributes? Here are some things women like, so put your best foot forward men….

Honesty – Believe it or not, it’s number one. In survey after survey, trust and honesty consistently come in as number one. Think women want you to lie to them to save their feelings? They don’t. They aren’t asking for it and they deserve better than that.

Trust isn’t just a big deal for women, it affects you both. Past baggage, fear, alcohol and drugs, childhood experiences and more situations can make a man’s (or women’s) vision of honesty skewed. Throw that luggage out and get real, Dudes. Your woman will value and respect you for being honest, just as you will her. Especially when it’s hard.

Confidence – Women want a confident man. Confident in who you are. It may sound cliché but women want a man with a quiet confidence who compares himself to no one. Now don’t get confidence confused with a big ego or arrogance. We’ll see right through that curtain. Confident men don’t require a big ego. They understand their worth and who they are. So be confident. Know your value.

Be Attentive – Gifts? Compliments? Women really want to know that you’re thinking about them. Even if you just tell a woman that you don’t like it that she’s out with another guy, she’ll love it, because it means you were thinking about her. Do women wear sexy outfits on accident? Do they spend two hours on their hair because they love their flat iron? No way. They want to know that you understand how amazing and beautiful they are. Women notice these details and they respond.

Intellect – Do women like a man with a well-hung brain? You bet. Women love a man who is interested in her, and what she finds interesting. Not only that, she is intrigued when a man wants to learn new things and grow his mind. Having an intellectual curiosity is like releasing extra pheromones to a woman. Yummy…

Sense of Humor – Almost goes without saying. Funny guys get all the girls. You know it.

Passion – Passion for them. Passion for your career. Passion for your goals. Passion in your values and beliefs. Grab some passion and grow it. It will not only make you H-O-T to women, it will make you happier and more fulfilled as well.

But what about the physical stuff? We know you men like to look at the perfectly Photoshop’ed model. Do you expect everyone you sleep with to measure up to those impossible standards? Of course not! Neither do women expect you to be as fit as Channing Tatum or as perfectly chiseled as George Clooney. Some women love bald men, some love lots of hair to run their fingers through. Some love big muscles, some not so much. So don’t be caught up in the mirror. We aren’t.

Now get out there and find your Princess!

Six Sex Positions Based On Horror Films

Halloween is here and it’s time to get your sex on! I won’t waste any of your time, howl at the moon!

Curious about BDSM?

With Debbie Simon

BDSM (Bondage & Discipline/Dominance & Submission/Sado-Masochism) is a term used to describe the most erotic and powerful sexual acts humans can perform. The art of dominating and/or relinquishing all control with your partner can be one of the most powerful and intimate acts you can perform as a couple.

In its most basic form BDSM is all about the erotic and sexual acts and mind-sets of dominating and relinquishing control. BDSM has gotten a bad rap, mostly in major media’s representation of it. It does not have to be dangerous or seedy or ridiculous in any way. Having a woman take charge can increase their sexual confidence and also give her partner a break from being ‘in charge’. 

We all know that doing anything too hard your partner is not only illegal, but devastating to a relationship. With BDSM, the best mind is an open one. This can give couples the opportunity to explore fantasies in ways that will bring them even closer. 

Thinking about getting into BDSM? Here are some tips.

1) Starting out…Revealing your desire to explore this new realm may have you shaking in your boots, but no worries! Approaching your partner in an open and casual way can really take fear away. 50 Shades of Grey brought BDSM to the forefront so now is the time! What have you got to lose? The worst word you may hear is ‘no’. Go for it!

2) Develop a plan…It may not be the best idea to go buy a whip, some cuffs and see what happens. Talk about your wildest fantasies openly. You may be surprised how easy it is to grow into a fantasy you both can agree on. Develop a word that means stop. And that word means stop immediately. Step into it lightly and don’t go too far that first time. BDSM is a journey. Treat it as such.

3) Who’s first…Talk about who wants what role in this play. Are you the Dominatrix, demanding he pleasure you with his tongue before you will even touch him? Have you always wanted to be tied up? Spanked? Figure out who leads, who follows, then switch it up next time. Variety is the spice of life.

4) Use the tools…Blindfolds, handcuffs, crops and collars. The tools of BDSM can be as exciting as any orgasm. Start small and grow your collection of toys, they can build off one another to create new and more amazing games and experiences every time you decide to break them out.

5) Dress up…Ladies, please don’t wear your old tattered fleece robe. Get the sexiest lingerie you can find and wear it! Men are visual creatures and they love to see what they are getting. And if you are taking the lead, watching you walk around in that black g-string will really get them wound up.

6) Prepare. Prepare. Prepare…The location. The time. Make sure you are going to be uninterrupted and in a comfortable, safe place. You don’t want anything or anyone breaking in on this moment of connection and exploration. That’s a real mood killer.

"Whether you are dominating, submitting, both or merely exploring - be confident about your body and desires; it’s the ultimate aphrodisiac." - Nichi

There are two last points I want to make about engaging in BDSM or any physical relationship with another person.

1. Have a safe word! It can be anything from apple to zebra. Make sure you both have a clear understanding of that word and that it means STOP IMMEDIATELY.

2. Be 100% sure you can trust and count on your partner. Make sure you can…

     a. Count on them to know when to stop. 

     b. Count on them to be open and not to go too far. 

     c. Count on them not to take anything too seriously, as unplanned moments will definitely happen.

As with any relationship with another person, there are risks of getting hurt. Make sure you go into BDSM with all the details and rules worked out beforehand. 

Whether it is your first experience or you are a seasoned professional, Olde Un has all the latest and greatest BDSM equipment and devices and our trained experts can help make your experience great! So, get out there and HAVE FUN!

Sex and the Waiting Game by Debbie Simon

We are asked a lot of interesting questions here at Olde Un…questions about products, positions, even questions about sexual health issues. But one of the most fun questions we receive is about dating…”How long should we date before we have sex?”

Are there rules for this? Let’s explore that concept. But before I go into that I have to state that if there are religious or cultural reasons then by all means, stick to those. This blog is more for the average Jane or Joe, who just wants to figure out what’s proper.

Rules are not a bad thing. And there are as many rules about sex as there are sexual positions. My only rule is trust my instincts. In terms of relationships and sex, there is no right answer. However, there are a lot of variables.

So if you have decided it’s time to take that plunge, ask yourself why. Is your partner putting on the pressure and you’re afraid to lose him/her? Is that person hotter than two bears fighting in a forest fire and you’re horny enough to jump in with them? Has it just been too long? Do you want to stay with them forever and show them how you feel? These are the kinds of questions you can ask yourself, but ultimately, it’s going to come down to trusting your instincts and deciding for yourself, not someone else, whether it’s time to GO FOR IT!

According to Patti Stanger, you should always wait until there is a joint decision on monogamy. There is a long-standing unspoken rule by many men that the third date is when that big event is going to happen. And Steve Harvey writes in his book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, to wait at least 90 days before you give it up.

But do the experts know you? Do they know your partner? Have they had a stellar relationship life? Hmmmm, I’m going to say that rules are stupid. As long as you know that sex is an intimate, personal, emotional and powerful act, you have all the tools to make an educated decision on what’s right for you.

The theory about sex that disturbs me the most is the idea that a person can use it as a control or manipulation tool. Either holding out to push or punish your partner or giving it up and making your partner feel guilty later. One of my favorite illustrations of this idea is the song Paradise By The Dashboard Lights by Meatloaf. The struggle is real Friends. 

The most important thing is to know yourself, know your partner, talk about it first, think on it for a bit, then make your choice. And remember, there is no right or wrong decision. All we can ever do is take the information we have at any given moment and make the best decision we can. No matter if it is the first date or the twentieth, if you are with the right person it will all work out in the end. Sex will never, and should never, be the deciding factor in the success of a relationship. If things don’t work out the way you had planned, at least you’ve learned something. And hopefully had a whole lot of fun in the process!

Although we would never claim to be relationship experts here at Olde Un, we DEFINITELY are the experts when it’s time to find something fun to spice up your relationship! Come in and see us today!