Curious about BDSM?

With Debbie Simon

BDSM (Bondage & Discipline/Dominance & Submission/Sado-Masochism) is a term used to describe the most erotic and powerful sexual acts humans can perform. The art of dominating and/or relinquishing all control with your partner can be one of the most powerful and intimate acts you can perform as a couple.

In its most basic form BDSM is all about the erotic and sexual acts and mind-sets of dominating and relinquishing control. BDSM has gotten a bad rap, mostly in major media’s representation of it. It does not have to be dangerous or seedy or ridiculous in any way. Having a woman take charge can increase their sexual confidence and also give her partner a break from being ‘in charge’. 

We all know that doing anything too hard your partner is not only illegal, but devastating to a relationship. With BDSM, the best mind is an open one. This can give couples the opportunity to explore fantasies in ways that will bring them even closer. 

Thinking about getting into BDSM? Here are some tips.

1) Starting out…Revealing your desire to explore this new realm may have you shaking in your boots, but no worries! Approaching your partner in an open and casual way can really take fear away. 50 Shades of Grey brought BDSM to the forefront so now is the time! What have you got to lose? The worst word you may hear is ‘no’. Go for it!

2) Develop a plan…It may not be the best idea to go buy a whip, some cuffs and see what happens. Talk about your wildest fantasies openly. You may be surprised how easy it is to grow into a fantasy you both can agree on. Develop a word that means stop. And that word means stop immediately. Step into it lightly and don’t go too far that first time. BDSM is a journey. Treat it as such.

3) Who’s first…Talk about who wants what role in this play. Are you the Dominatrix, demanding he pleasure you with his tongue before you will even touch him? Have you always wanted to be tied up? Spanked? Figure out who leads, who follows, then switch it up next time. Variety is the spice of life.

4) Use the tools…Blindfolds, handcuffs, crops and collars. The tools of BDSM can be as exciting as any orgasm. Start small and grow your collection of toys, they can build off one another to create new and more amazing games and experiences every time you decide to break them out.

5) Dress up…Ladies, please don’t wear your old tattered fleece robe. Get the sexiest lingerie you can find and wear it! Men are visual creatures and they love to see what they are getting. And if you are taking the lead, watching you walk around in that black g-string will really get them wound up.

6) Prepare. Prepare. Prepare…The location. The time. Make sure you are going to be uninterrupted and in a comfortable, safe place. You don’t want anything or anyone breaking in on this moment of connection and exploration. That’s a real mood killer.

"Whether you are dominating, submitting, both or merely exploring - be confident about your body and desires; it’s the ultimate aphrodisiac." - Nichi

There are two last points I want to make about engaging in BDSM or any physical relationship with another person.

1. Have a safe word! It can be anything from apple to zebra. Make sure you both have a clear understanding of that word and that it means STOP IMMEDIATELY.

2. Be 100% sure you can trust and count on your partner. Make sure you can…

     a. Count on them to know when to stop. 

     b. Count on them to be open and not to go too far. 

     c. Count on them not to take anything too seriously, as unplanned moments will definitely happen.

As with any relationship with another person, there are risks of getting hurt. Make sure you go into BDSM with all the details and rules worked out beforehand. 

Whether it is your first experience or you are a seasoned professional, Olde Un has all the latest and greatest BDSM equipment and devices and our trained experts can help make your experience great! So, get out there and HAVE FUN!

Sex and the Waiting Game by Debbie Simon

We are asked a lot of interesting questions here at Olde Un…questions about products, positions, even questions about sexual health issues. But one of the most fun questions we receive is about dating…”How long should we date before we have sex?”

Are there rules for this? Let’s explore that concept. But before I go into that I have to state that if there are religious or cultural reasons then by all means, stick to those. This blog is more for the average Jane or Joe, who just wants to figure out what’s proper.

Rules are not a bad thing. And there are as many rules about sex as there are sexual positions. My only rule is trust my instincts. In terms of relationships and sex, there is no right answer. However, there are a lot of variables.

So if you have decided it’s time to take that plunge, ask yourself why. Is your partner putting on the pressure and you’re afraid to lose him/her? Is that person hotter than two bears fighting in a forest fire and you’re horny enough to jump in with them? Has it just been too long? Do you want to stay with them forever and show them how you feel? These are the kinds of questions you can ask yourself, but ultimately, it’s going to come down to trusting your instincts and deciding for yourself, not someone else, whether it’s time to GO FOR IT!

According to Patti Stanger, you should always wait until there is a joint decision on monogamy. There is a long-standing unspoken rule by many men that the third date is when that big event is going to happen. And Steve Harvey writes in his book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, to wait at least 90 days before you give it up.

But do the experts know you? Do they know your partner? Have they had a stellar relationship life? Hmmmm, I’m going to say that rules are stupid. As long as you know that sex is an intimate, personal, emotional and powerful act, you have all the tools to make an educated decision on what’s right for you.

The theory about sex that disturbs me the most is the idea that a person can use it as a control or manipulation tool. Either holding out to push or punish your partner or giving it up and making your partner feel guilty later. One of my favorite illustrations of this idea is the song Paradise By The Dashboard Lights by Meatloaf. The struggle is real Friends. 

The most important thing is to know yourself, know your partner, talk about it first, think on it for a bit, then make your choice. And remember, there is no right or wrong decision. All we can ever do is take the information we have at any given moment and make the best decision we can. No matter if it is the first date or the twentieth, if you are with the right person it will all work out in the end. Sex will never, and should never, be the deciding factor in the success of a relationship. If things don’t work out the way you had planned, at least you’ve learned something. And hopefully had a whole lot of fun in the process!

Although we would never claim to be relationship experts here at Olde Un, we DEFINITELY are the experts when it’s time to find something fun to spice up your relationship! Come in and see us today!

Rock Hard

With Debbie Simon

You’re right, I don’t mean abs. Men are under a lot of pressure when it comes to sex. They are responsible for the lion’s share of the performance in most sexual encounters and most take it very seriously. There are as many reasons for performance challenges and anxiety as there are sexual positions, but luckily scientists have come a long way in terms of assisting men be all they want to be in bed.

We are a big fan of male enhancements at Olde Un. However, it is very important that you purchase your product at a store that knows their supplements…and especially their ingredients. There are many illicit and illegally-made supplements that can have negative effects on a man’s health. Please make sure you know and can trust the people you make your purchase from.

There are several good natural sexual enhancements for men. Here are a few…

Ginseng - Ginseng has become popular in the last several years. It grows mainly in the Appalachian region and down into the Ozarks. The root is a tonic, meaning that its benefits accrue gradually. It is also considered ‘adaptogenic’, meaning that it may increase resistance to stress, trauma, fatigue and anxiety. It is believed to increase overall vitality and sexual performance, according to research conducted at the University of Naples. Be aware, improper usage can result in high blood pressure, diarrhea, restlessness, and other dangerous side-affects.

Ayurvedic Herbs – Ayurvedic herbs are a class of herbal remedies that have been used in India for thousands of years. A study using rats as subjects suggests that some of these herbs are effective against erectile dysfunction while at the same time increasing sexual desire. Although these natural herbs in their pure form present no particular health concerns for adults, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has warned that some Ayurveda products contain potentially harmful heavy metals.

Oysters – A team of American and Italian researchers reported at the 2005 meeting of the American Chemical Society that oysters are effective against erectile dysfunction and act as potent aphrodisiacs, because they contain rare amino acids that trigger increased levels of sex hormones. They are most effective when consumed raw but do present some health risks. Take in small doses, at least until you understand how oysters affect you.

We love oysters and ginseng makes yummy tea, but none of these are our favorite male enhancement solutions. Olde Un has some of the best male enhancement products on the market. Come on by and we can find the best solution for you.

Sexual Intelligence - How's Yours?

By Debbie Simon

What is sexual intelligence? Understanding intimacy. Satisfaction. Having an open mind. The ability to create something new when you are getting a bit older, being curious about new things and keeping a level head when things get a little kinky.

Here are a few of my favorite ways to increase your sexual intelligence...

1. Get comfortable in your own skin
Do you know your body? All the sweet spots and the areas you aren’t so comfortable with? There is no reason to gauge your body against what you see in magazines or on TV. Sexual encounters are a very personal experience and EVERYONE can have mind blowing sex! Being confident with your body is half the battle.

2. Support and trust each other
Trusting and supporting each other is vital to fulfilling your partner’s needs. As you get more comfortable talking and trying new things, that trust is the most important thing. It takes a lot of guts to ask for anal sex or the addition of a bondage rope if you have never discussed it before. Never criticize or laugh in spite. Approach your partner with an open mind and kind heart and your sex life will be taken to a whole new level!

3. Be happy alone.
Relying on someone else to give you sexual satisfaction can end in disaster. There are as many examples as there are relationships. One night stands that turn into stalking. Picking up a disease you can never get rid of. Learn about your body and how to satisfy yourself. Learn to enjoy yourself because desperation is the least attractive quality in a partner. Relying on a partner for ALL your sexual satisfaction will get you in trouble every time.

4. Eat sexy foods
Ohhhhhhh, how food can add spice to a sexual encounter. Chocolate, fruit, ice cream, whipped cream, edible panties, honey, the list goes on and on…The aroma, the texture, the temperature and the taste can all add to your performance and your experience. Get your food on Babe!

5. Have a great sense of humor
Things can go wrong in the bedroom. You’re taking new risks, trying new things, sometimes it won’t be flawless. Adding some laughter to an awkward situation (as long as your partner doesn’t think you are laughing AT them) is the best way to turn an ‘OOPS’ into a great story to laugh about later. Laughter is the best medicine. Make sure you take a healthy dose every day.

Great sex doesn’t just happen. It takes practice. And this is not a bad thing! The best advice I can give is practice, practice, practice! A Golf Pro doesn’t get to the top by playing golf for fun once a month. He works at it consistently, practicing a lot of different methods for getting the ball straight to the hole. So get out there and try something new. Need some help with ideas? Stop in and see us soon!

Wow! It’s all about Men’s Orgasms! (Our favorite 6)

With Debbie Simon

It seems everyone is talking about and analyzing female orgasms and the mystery of getting one. While it is true men are usually able to reach orgasm more easily than females; male orgasms are just as interesting and complicated.

It is a surprise to some the the average amount of fluid men release during orgasm is only about a teaspoon. But that small amount of special has also been found to contain natural mood enhancers like serotonin, cortisol, prolactin, oxytocin, and estrone, as well as the sleep-aid melatonin. No wonder they can swim up to 28 miles per hour!

Not only do orgasms make men feel like they have just conquered the world, they are vitally important to their physical health. Orgasms will keep a man’s prostate healthy for years to come. So, check out these tricks to helping your man reach an explosive ending to every sexual encounter.

1.       Slow It Down Sister

Men sometimes hurry to get to the prize. Making him wait can really make his orgasm explosive. A little frustration can go a long way in the bedroom. Watching him get close to the edge and then backing off several times will have him moaning when he cums.

2.       The Touch

Touching your man seems such a simple idea and yet so few partners really focus on what they do with their hands and how it affects their man. Spend some time consciously focusing on how your touch makes your man react. Use your hands to tell him how much you enjoy his penis by grabbing his hips and pulling them toward you, run your fingers down the center of his back or take his face in your hands. Touch can make both your orgasms much more intense and build the intimacy everyone desires.

3.       The Toys

We love toys. Toys for girls. Toys for boys. Toys are one of the most fun ways to add something new to your sex life and give your man the ultimate orgasm. Cock rings, artificial pussies, dirty movies; they all can get that big reaction from your man. And ladies, don’t forget your toys. For many men, watching you play can really get a man hot. There isn’t anything sexier than a woman climaxing. If you don’t believe me, ask him.

4.       Create Your Experience

We all know that spicing things up is a great idea. There are a lot of people telling us that on a regular basis. But what does that mean? Dressing up like the Queen of England and ordering him around with your scepter? Wearing fifty pounds of leather and chains? Booking a trip to a nudist beach in South France? We don’t think it takes that much planning or cost. Do something a little different…Surprise him in the morning (or another time of day when he will least expect it)…Wear something sexy he has never seen you in before…Use your tongue in ways he would never expect (if you need some ideas, we have some great books and DVD’s with ideas). Surprise him! It may be the best ride you’ve ever had.

5.       Dirty Words Baby

Tell him what you want. Talk about how sexy he his and how 

turned on you are. If that is out of your comfort zone start small. 

Just a little ‘Do it like that baby’ or ‘Oh yeah’ can go a long way 

with a man. We all know men are visual, but they also have 

ears and love to be told what to do, how to do it, and how much 

you love it. So talk it up!

6.       Stay Alert

Seem simple? It is easy to say and sometimes not so easy to do. 

Bills get paid on time? Is it time to pick up the dry cleaning? Do 

we have enough milk? WHOA! Don’t get distracted with the 

everyday shit! Stay with him! Pay attention to every sound, movement and body reaction. Did he just take a deep breath when I touched him there? Did he just get a bit stiffer? How is he reacting to me and what can I do to make him scream? You have the power as his partner to send him right over the edge in a big way. Go for it!

The male orgasm is a fun and fascinating physical and psychological reaction to feeling good. Become his expert and you will keep him exploding for years to cum.

Feel The Fireworks!

With Debbie Simon

It’s that time of year again! Time to talk about fireworks in your sex life! Do you have them? Where do you get more? How can you keep feeling them for years to come? Here are my Top Ten ways to get those fireworks!

1)     Experiment. Do you have fantasies that you haven’t shared with your partner? Go for it. Tell them! Sometimes taking that first step makes all the difference. When you are in a trusting relationship, telling your partner your deepest desires, fantasies and wants is sexy as hell!

2)     Flirt. Show your partner that you still find them sexy. Yesterday, today and tomorrow. Flirting should never end in a relationship. It should increase!

3)     Watch Something Naughty. Movies are great way to get the big fireworks show! Men are the visual sex and they can really get turned on by watching others create their own fireworks. Whether your taste is a spicy rated R romance film or a XXX down and dirty movie, watching something naughty is a great way to make those fireworks happen in your own relationship!

4)     Eat. Indulge in the sexy foods of your choice.. Chocolate-covered strawberries. Raw oysters. How about some edible panties with chocolate sauce? Yum.

5)     Be The Beast. Becoming a beast in the bedroom can really spice things up. Tell your partner what you want and how to get it done. Have you ever been tied up? Have you ever tied someone else up? Always respectfully and with limits clearly defined,
being the beast is a real turn-on.

6)     Take Your Time. Carve out some time, some real time, to make sure you and your partner are connecting. Make the effort to concentrate on one part of his or her body for five minutes without moving on. There are lots of sexy things you can do with toes!

7)     Plan. Spontaneity is fabulous and sometimes so is making a plan. There are some great games couples can do together to create that sparkler heat every time. (Did you know sparklers can reach 2,000 degrees? Be careful with those things!)  Buy some flowers. Show your loved one that  you’re thinking about them not just in the moment, but are working hard to create magic in advance!

8)     Dress Up. Whether it’s sexy lingerie or stilettos and nothing else, dressing up can really turn up the heat! And men…don’t ignore your inner police officer or firefighter. Women love a sexy uniform and you’ll need hours to put out that flame.

 9)   Talk. Communication is one of the most over-looked
      firework starters. Talking about how you feel about your
      partner…how much you care and appreciate them…will make
      those roman candles shoot off again and again.

  10)  Take Pictures. Taking sexy pictures of each other makes
      those fireworks pop up every time. Even a personal movie can
      be a fun way to relive those fireworks moments. Always with
      the commitment of keeping them between the two of you,
      of course.

Open your mind. Explore something you may have not tried before, and above all, HAVE FUN! 

Happy Independence Day!

The Five Best New Toys for Women in 2015

With Debbie Simon

New toys are always so exciting and this year is better than ever! From newly designed Rabbits to Super Bullets with 20 speeds! It’s going to be a great ride!
So here are our top picks for 2015…ENJOY!

1) The Sensuelle Impulse  exceeds  expectations. The  deceptively simple, sleek design starts with subtle grooves and continues on to the special hook handle. Its deeply intense motor, with multi-function modes, is designed to create powerful sensations easily with the touch of a finger. The unique touch sensor mode will automatically start upon contact with your body and will delight you with 7 different vibration functions. But it doesn’t end there. Each groove on the Sensuelle Impulse represents a different sensor region with varying intensities. Easily switch between the 7 Vibration Functions and touch Sensor Mode at the push of a button. And let’s not forget the special hook handle that allows the Sensuelle Impulse to be enjoyed externally or internally, and either as a vaginal or anal toy.

2) Get ready for the new Jack Rabbit! The Rabbit has been a favorite for years, and their new Triple Motor Silicone Jack Rabbit is the most incredibly powerful Rabbit ever built! With three motors strategically placed in the tip, shaft and rabbit, you will jump for joy when you feel the power. There are 7 functions of vibration, pulsation and escalation along with three speeds of independent shaft rotation and vibrations. This Rabbit has it all!





3) Waterproof travel important in your life? You’ll love the Silhouette 17. With its flexible shaft, incredible durability and beautiful design, this vibrator has some of the best new technology on the market. Dual motors with 10 incredible functions of vibration, pulsation and escalation and intense incremental speed control. Trust us, this one aims to please.

4) Do you love a good strap-on but hate the straps? You have to try the new Love Rider. Strapless and rechargeable, this great new toy offers dual motors with 30 functions of intense vibration, pulsation and escalation. Made with high grade silicone for your comfort and safety, it’s built to last. The large probe measures an impressive 7.75 inches long by 1.5 inches around for 100 inches of fun!






5) If 7 modes won’t cut it, you’ll love the Sensuelle Point. Twice dipped in silicone, to give you an ultra-smooth, silky, sensual feel, it is beautiful to touch and as intense as anything on the market. This baby is not just a bullet, it’s a brand new breed of bullet that will redefine what a good bullet is. The Super Bullet…with 20 mind-blowing modes!  One touch and you will definitely understand the sensation!




Toys are a great way to spice up your night with your partner, keep your body health (see our previous blog post), and help you get to know your body better. Don’t be afraid to try something new! And as always, if you have questions, come by and speak to any of our knowledgeable and experienced staff.