Six Sex Positions Based On Horror Films

Halloween is here and it’s time to get your sex on! I won’t waste any of your time, howl at the moon!

Crazy Ex's (In Honor Of Halloween)

with Debbie Simon

Oh, how we love Halloween at Old Un. The matching costumes for couples in love, the scary movies and all the wonderful tricks and treats…it’s all just F-U-N! In honor of Halloween, we are making October ‘Scary Blog Month’. So here are some of our favorite scary stories about Ex’s who just couldn’t quite get over that lost love (or maybe even some ideas for you if you have an ex you would like to send a trick to). Enjoy…

1) Debbie – I dated a man for one year. We were planning our lives together and even bought a home. Suddenly, he started acting distant and irritable. I just couldn’t figure it out. Until I followed him one night. He said he was out with a buddy. Of course he was. He was right at his buddy’s house and there she was. Ashley. I’ve hated that name ever since. Two months later they decided to tie the knot and I decided to send them a nice wedding gift. Everyone likes bacon, right?

2) Kevin – My ex-girlfriend was so pissed off at me for ending it, she went to every church within a 50 mile radius and signed me up for every mailing and email list she could. If I didn’t collect the mail every single day, my mailbox would be so full the postman would take it back to the post office and I would have to go collect it there. Not only that, my phone went nuts with all the calls from the churches wanting to send me bibles and collect money and pray for me. What a bitch!

3) Jen – My boyfriend broke up with me via text. Here is his ‘why’ text... 1) You refuse to update your relationship status on Facebook. 2) You won’t include me in things like the wedding this weekend. I should have been the one to escort you. 3) You are rude to my cat and it makes me uncomfortable. 4) You do not share your time equally and by now your boyfriend should take priority. 5) Your swearing is very unladylike. 6) You won’t disclose how many sexual partners you have had which makes me think it is upward of 3 and anything more than that is unacceptable.

4) Cody – Dumped her. She was flat-out crazy. So she went online and requested an army recruited contact me to sign up. Best six years of my life. Take that you crazy whore!

OK, so all is not lost. If you’ve lost a love there are some really great ways to move forward. So here are a few of our favorites..

1) No contact. No contact. No contact. Reject his/her phone number on your cell. Block him/her on Facebook. Stay away from him/her. Period. Simple to say. Hard to do.

2) Get engaged. Volunteer at a charity you like. Join a hiking club or a social club. There are lots of them on MeetUp. Go find some new people to connect with. It helps.

3) Wallow. Just take 24 hours and wallow all up in the middle of that shit! Cry! Watch sappy movies! Do all of those things that will make it hurt. FEEL it! Then after 24 hours put your damn big girl/boy panties on and move forward! 

4) Do something positive to learn from your experience. OK, I’m going to focus on the girls here, but here is a great video about getting the right mindset to attract what you want. Check it out...

5) Get a new puppy. I know, not everyone is going to agree with me on this one. But if I want to feel better after my dog dies, I’m going to get a new puppy.  F#*K YOU Psychologists, it will definitely make me feel better.

And the last thing that will definitely make you feel better…come see us…because we can make you howl at that Halloween moon in the most amazing ways. With or without a partner.   Happy Halloween Friends!

Our 8 Favorite Strange Sex Laws

There are some very weird laws about sex out there Friends. Even in the good ole' U S of A. Here are 8 of our favorites from around the world. Enjoy!  - Debbie

Curious about BDSM?

With Debbie Simon

BDSM (Bondage & Discipline/Dominance & Submission/Sado-Masochism) is a term used to describe the most erotic and powerful sexual acts humans can perform. The art of dominating and/or relinquishing all control with your partner can be one of the most powerful and intimate acts you can perform as a couple.

In its most basic form BDSM is all about the erotic and sexual acts and mind-sets of dominating and relinquishing control. BDSM has gotten a bad rap, mostly in major media’s representation of it. It does not have to be dangerous or seedy or ridiculous in any way. Having a woman take charge can increase their sexual confidence and also give her partner a break from being ‘in charge’. 

We all know that doing anything too hard your partner is not only illegal, but devastating to a relationship. With BDSM, the best mind is an open one. This can give couples the opportunity to explore fantasies in ways that will bring them even closer. 

Thinking about getting into BDSM? Here are some tips.

1) Starting out…Revealing your desire to explore this new realm may have you shaking in your boots, but no worries! Approaching your partner in an open and casual way can really take fear away. 50 Shades of Grey brought BDSM to the forefront so now is the time! What have you got to lose? The worst word you may hear is ‘no’. Go for it!

2) Develop a plan…It may not be the best idea to go buy a whip, some cuffs and see what happens. Talk about your wildest fantasies openly. You may be surprised how easy it is to grow into a fantasy you both can agree on. Develop a word that means stop. And that word means stop immediately. Step into it lightly and don’t go too far that first time. BDSM is a journey. Treat it as such.

3) Who’s first…Talk about who wants what role in this play. Are you the Dominatrix, demanding he pleasure you with his tongue before you will even touch him? Have you always wanted to be tied up? Spanked? Figure out who leads, who follows, then switch it up next time. Variety is the spice of life.

4) Use the tools…Blindfolds, handcuffs, crops and collars. The tools of BDSM can be as exciting as any orgasm. Start small and grow your collection of toys, they can build off one another to create new and more amazing games and experiences every time you decide to break them out.

5) Dress up…Ladies, please don’t wear your old tattered fleece robe. Get the sexiest lingerie you can find and wear it! Men are visual creatures and they love to see what they are getting. And if you are taking the lead, watching you walk around in that black g-string will really get them wound up.

6) Prepare. Prepare. Prepare…The location. The time. Make sure you are going to be uninterrupted and in a comfortable, safe place. You don’t want anything or anyone breaking in on this moment of connection and exploration. That’s a real mood killer.

"Whether you are dominating, submitting, both or merely exploring - be confident about your body and desires; it’s the ultimate aphrodisiac." - Nichi

There are two last points I want to make about engaging in BDSM or any physical relationship with another person.

1. Have a safe word! It can be anything from apple to zebra. Make sure you both have a clear understanding of that word and that it means STOP IMMEDIATELY.

2. Be 100% sure you can trust and count on your partner. Make sure you can…

     a. Count on them to know when to stop. 

     b. Count on them to be open and not to go too far. 

     c. Count on them not to take anything too seriously, as unplanned moments will definitely happen.

As with any relationship with another person, there are risks of getting hurt. Make sure you go into BDSM with all the details and rules worked out beforehand. 

Whether it is your first experience or you are a seasoned professional, Olde Un has all the latest and greatest BDSM equipment and devices and our trained experts can help make your experience great! So, get out there and HAVE FUN!

Sex and the Waiting Game by Debbie Simon

We are asked a lot of interesting questions here at Olde Un…questions about products, positions, even questions about sexual health issues. But one of the most fun questions we receive is about dating…”How long should we date before we have sex?”

Are there rules for this? Let’s explore that concept. But before I go into that I have to state that if there are religious or cultural reasons then by all means, stick to those. This blog is more for the average Jane or Joe, who just wants to figure out what’s proper.

Rules are not a bad thing. And there are as many rules about sex as there are sexual positions. My only rule is trust my instincts. In terms of relationships and sex, there is no right answer. However, there are a lot of variables.

So if you have decided it’s time to take that plunge, ask yourself why. Is your partner putting on the pressure and you’re afraid to lose him/her? Is that person hotter than two bears fighting in a forest fire and you’re horny enough to jump in with them? Has it just been too long? Do you want to stay with them forever and show them how you feel? These are the kinds of questions you can ask yourself, but ultimately, it’s going to come down to trusting your instincts and deciding for yourself, not someone else, whether it’s time to GO FOR IT!

According to Patti Stanger, you should always wait until there is a joint decision on monogamy. There is a long-standing unspoken rule by many men that the third date is when that big event is going to happen. And Steve Harvey writes in his book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, to wait at least 90 days before you give it up.

But do the experts know you? Do they know your partner? Have they had a stellar relationship life? Hmmmm, I’m going to say that rules are stupid. As long as you know that sex is an intimate, personal, emotional and powerful act, you have all the tools to make an educated decision on what’s right for you.

The theory about sex that disturbs me the most is the idea that a person can use it as a control or manipulation tool. Either holding out to push or punish your partner or giving it up and making your partner feel guilty later. One of my favorite illustrations of this idea is the song Paradise By The Dashboard Lights by Meatloaf. The struggle is real Friends. 

The most important thing is to know yourself, know your partner, talk about it first, think on it for a bit, then make your choice. And remember, there is no right or wrong decision. All we can ever do is take the information we have at any given moment and make the best decision we can. No matter if it is the first date or the twentieth, if you are with the right person it will all work out in the end. Sex will never, and should never, be the deciding factor in the success of a relationship. If things don’t work out the way you had planned, at least you’ve learned something. And hopefully had a whole lot of fun in the process!

Although we would never claim to be relationship experts here at Olde Un, we DEFINITELY are the experts when it’s time to find something fun to spice up your relationship! Come in and see us today!

Rock Hard

With Debbie Simon

You’re right, I don’t mean abs. Men are under a lot of pressure when it comes to sex. They are responsible for the lion’s share of the performance in most sexual encounters and most take it very seriously. There are as many reasons for performance challenges and anxiety as there are sexual positions, but luckily scientists have come a long way in terms of assisting men be all they want to be in bed.

We are a big fan of male enhancements at Olde Un. However, it is very important that you purchase your product at a store that knows their supplements…and especially their ingredients. There are many illicit and illegally-made supplements that can have negative effects on a man’s health. Please make sure you know and can trust the people you make your purchase from.

There are several good natural sexual enhancements for men. Here are a few…

Ginseng - Ginseng has become popular in the last several years. It grows mainly in the Appalachian region and down into the Ozarks. The root is a tonic, meaning that its benefits accrue gradually. It is also considered ‘adaptogenic’, meaning that it may increase resistance to stress, trauma, fatigue and anxiety. It is believed to increase overall vitality and sexual performance, according to research conducted at the University of Naples. Be aware, improper usage can result in high blood pressure, diarrhea, restlessness, and other dangerous side-affects.

Ayurvedic Herbs – Ayurvedic herbs are a class of herbal remedies that have been used in India for thousands of years. A study using rats as subjects suggests that some of these herbs are effective against erectile dysfunction while at the same time increasing sexual desire. Although these natural herbs in their pure form present no particular health concerns for adults, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has warned that some Ayurveda products contain potentially harmful heavy metals.

Oysters – A team of American and Italian researchers reported at the 2005 meeting of the American Chemical Society that oysters are effective against erectile dysfunction and act as potent aphrodisiacs, because they contain rare amino acids that trigger increased levels of sex hormones. They are most effective when consumed raw but do present some health risks. Take in small doses, at least until you understand how oysters affect you.

We love oysters and ginseng makes yummy tea, but none of these are our favorite male enhancement solutions. Olde Un has some of the best male enhancement products on the market. Come on by and we can find the best solution for you.

Sexual Intelligence - How's Yours?

By Debbie Simon

What is sexual intelligence? Understanding intimacy. Satisfaction. Having an open mind. The ability to create something new when you are getting a bit older, being curious about new things and keeping a level head when things get a little kinky.

Here are a few of my favorite ways to increase your sexual intelligence...

1. Get comfortable in your own skin
Do you know your body? All the sweet spots and the areas you aren’t so comfortable with? There is no reason to gauge your body against what you see in magazines or on TV. Sexual encounters are a very personal experience and EVERYONE can have mind blowing sex! Being confident with your body is half the battle.

2. Support and trust each other
Trusting and supporting each other is vital to fulfilling your partner’s needs. As you get more comfortable talking and trying new things, that trust is the most important thing. It takes a lot of guts to ask for anal sex or the addition of a bondage rope if you have never discussed it before. Never criticize or laugh in spite. Approach your partner with an open mind and kind heart and your sex life will be taken to a whole new level!

3. Be happy alone.
Relying on someone else to give you sexual satisfaction can end in disaster. There are as many examples as there are relationships. One night stands that turn into stalking. Picking up a disease you can never get rid of. Learn about your body and how to satisfy yourself. Learn to enjoy yourself because desperation is the least attractive quality in a partner. Relying on a partner for ALL your sexual satisfaction will get you in trouble every time.

4. Eat sexy foods
Ohhhhhhh, how food can add spice to a sexual encounter. Chocolate, fruit, ice cream, whipped cream, edible panties, honey, the list goes on and on…The aroma, the texture, the temperature and the taste can all add to your performance and your experience. Get your food on Babe!

5. Have a great sense of humor
Things can go wrong in the bedroom. You’re taking new risks, trying new things, sometimes it won’t be flawless. Adding some laughter to an awkward situation (as long as your partner doesn’t think you are laughing AT them) is the best way to turn an ‘OOPS’ into a great story to laugh about later. Laughter is the best medicine. Make sure you take a healthy dose every day.

Great sex doesn’t just happen. It takes practice. And this is not a bad thing! The best advice I can give is practice, practice, practice! A Golf Pro doesn’t get to the top by playing golf for fun once a month. He works at it consistently, practicing a lot of different methods for getting the ball straight to the hole. So get out there and try something new. Need some help with ideas? Stop in and see us soon!