Sexual Intelligence - How's Yours?

By Debbie Simon

What is sexual intelligence? Understanding intimacy. Satisfaction. Having an open mind. The ability to create something new when you are getting a bit older, being curious about new things and keeping a level head when things get a little kinky.

Here are a few of my favorite ways to increase your sexual intelligence...

1. Get comfortable in your own skin
Do you know your body? All the sweet spots and the areas you aren’t so comfortable with? There is no reason to gauge your body against what you see in magazines or on TV. Sexual encounters are a very personal experience and EVERYONE can have mind blowing sex! Being confident with your body is half the battle.

2. Support and trust each other
Trusting and supporting each other is vital to fulfilling your partner’s needs. As you get more comfortable talking and trying new things, that trust is the most important thing. It takes a lot of guts to ask for anal sex or the addition of a bondage rope if you have never discussed it before. Never criticize or laugh in spite. Approach your partner with an open mind and kind heart and your sex life will be taken to a whole new level!

3. Be happy alone.
Relying on someone else to give you sexual satisfaction can end in disaster. There are as many examples as there are relationships. One night stands that turn into stalking. Picking up a disease you can never get rid of. Learn about your body and how to satisfy yourself. Learn to enjoy yourself because desperation is the least attractive quality in a partner. Relying on a partner for ALL your sexual satisfaction will get you in trouble every time.

4. Eat sexy foods
Ohhhhhhh, how food can add spice to a sexual encounter. Chocolate, fruit, ice cream, whipped cream, edible panties, honey, the list goes on and on…The aroma, the texture, the temperature and the taste can all add to your performance and your experience. Get your food on Babe!

5. Have a great sense of humor
Things can go wrong in the bedroom. You’re taking new risks, trying new things, sometimes it won’t be flawless. Adding some laughter to an awkward situation (as long as your partner doesn’t think you are laughing AT them) is the best way to turn an ‘OOPS’ into a great story to laugh about later. Laughter is the best medicine. Make sure you take a healthy dose every day.

Great sex doesn’t just happen. It takes practice. And this is not a bad thing! The best advice I can give is practice, practice, practice! A Golf Pro doesn’t get to the top by playing golf for fun once a month. He works at it consistently, practicing a lot of different methods for getting the ball straight to the hole. So get out there and try something new. Need some help with ideas? Stop in and see us soon!

Wow! It’s all about Men’s Orgasms! (Our favorite 6)

With Debbie Simon

It seems everyone is talking about and analyzing female orgasms and the mystery of getting one. While it is true men are usually able to reach orgasm more easily than females; male orgasms are just as interesting and complicated.

It is a surprise to some the the average amount of fluid men release during orgasm is only about a teaspoon. But that small amount of special has also been found to contain natural mood enhancers like serotonin, cortisol, prolactin, oxytocin, and estrone, as well as the sleep-aid melatonin. No wonder they can swim up to 28 miles per hour!

Not only do orgasms make men feel like they have just conquered the world, they are vitally important to their physical health. Orgasms will keep a man’s prostate healthy for years to come. So, check out these tricks to helping your man reach an explosive ending to every sexual encounter.

1.       Slow It Down Sister

Men sometimes hurry to get to the prize. Making him wait can really make his orgasm explosive. A little frustration can go a long way in the bedroom. Watching him get close to the edge and then backing off several times will have him moaning when he cums.

2.       The Touch

Touching your man seems such a simple idea and yet so few partners really focus on what they do with their hands and how it affects their man. Spend some time consciously focusing on how your touch makes your man react. Use your hands to tell him how much you enjoy his penis by grabbing his hips and pulling them toward you, run your fingers down the center of his back or take his face in your hands. Touch can make both your orgasms much more intense and build the intimacy everyone desires.

3.       The Toys

We love toys. Toys for girls. Toys for boys. Toys are one of the most fun ways to add something new to your sex life and give your man the ultimate orgasm. Cock rings, artificial pussies, dirty movies; they all can get that big reaction from your man. And ladies, don’t forget your toys. For many men, watching you play can really get a man hot. There isn’t anything sexier than a woman climaxing. If you don’t believe me, ask him.

4.       Create Your Experience

We all know that spicing things up is a great idea. There are a lot of people telling us that on a regular basis. But what does that mean? Dressing up like the Queen of England and ordering him around with your scepter? Wearing fifty pounds of leather and chains? Booking a trip to a nudist beach in South France? We don’t think it takes that much planning or cost. Do something a little different…Surprise him in the morning (or another time of day when he will least expect it)…Wear something sexy he has never seen you in before…Use your tongue in ways he would never expect (if you need some ideas, we have some great books and DVD’s with ideas). Surprise him! It may be the best ride you’ve ever had.

5.       Dirty Words Baby

Tell him what you want. Talk about how sexy he his and how 

turned on you are. If that is out of your comfort zone start small. 

Just a little ‘Do it like that baby’ or ‘Oh yeah’ can go a long way 

with a man. We all know men are visual, but they also have 

ears and love to be told what to do, how to do it, and how much 

you love it. So talk it up!

6.       Stay Alert

Seem simple? It is easy to say and sometimes not so easy to do. 

Bills get paid on time? Is it time to pick up the dry cleaning? Do 

we have enough milk? WHOA! Don’t get distracted with the 

everyday shit! Stay with him! Pay attention to every sound, movement and body reaction. Did he just take a deep breath when I touched him there? Did he just get a bit stiffer? How is he reacting to me and what can I do to make him scream? You have the power as his partner to send him right over the edge in a big way. Go for it!

The male orgasm is a fun and fascinating physical and psychological reaction to feeling good. Become his expert and you will keep him exploding for years to cum.