Sexual Intelligence - How's Yours?

By Debbie Simon

What is sexual intelligence? Understanding intimacy. Satisfaction. Having an open mind. The ability to create something new when you are getting a bit older, being curious about new things and keeping a level head when things get a little kinky.

Here are a few of my favorite ways to increase your sexual intelligence...

1. Get comfortable in your own skin
Do you know your body? All the sweet spots and the areas you aren’t so comfortable with? There is no reason to gauge your body against what you see in magazines or on TV. Sexual encounters are a very personal experience and EVERYONE can have mind blowing sex! Being confident with your body is half the battle.

2. Support and trust each other
Trusting and supporting each other is vital to fulfilling your partner’s needs. As you get more comfortable talking and trying new things, that trust is the most important thing. It takes a lot of guts to ask for anal sex or the addition of a bondage rope if you have never discussed it before. Never criticize or laugh in spite. Approach your partner with an open mind and kind heart and your sex life will be taken to a whole new level!

3. Be happy alone.
Relying on someone else to give you sexual satisfaction can end in disaster. There are as many examples as there are relationships. One night stands that turn into stalking. Picking up a disease you can never get rid of. Learn about your body and how to satisfy yourself. Learn to enjoy yourself because desperation is the least attractive quality in a partner. Relying on a partner for ALL your sexual satisfaction will get you in trouble every time.

4. Eat sexy foods
Ohhhhhhh, how food can add spice to a sexual encounter. Chocolate, fruit, ice cream, whipped cream, edible panties, honey, the list goes on and on…The aroma, the texture, the temperature and the taste can all add to your performance and your experience. Get your food on Babe!

5. Have a great sense of humor
Things can go wrong in the bedroom. You’re taking new risks, trying new things, sometimes it won’t be flawless. Adding some laughter to an awkward situation (as long as your partner doesn’t think you are laughing AT them) is the best way to turn an ‘OOPS’ into a great story to laugh about later. Laughter is the best medicine. Make sure you take a healthy dose every day.

Great sex doesn’t just happen. It takes practice. And this is not a bad thing! The best advice I can give is practice, practice, practice! A Golf Pro doesn’t get to the top by playing golf for fun once a month. He works at it consistently, practicing a lot of different methods for getting the ball straight to the hole. So get out there and try something new. Need some help with ideas? Stop in and see us soon!